MakaChan in Wonderland
by Scorn's Child
Summary: After falling asleep reading the last pages of her favorite book, Maka wakes up to find herself in a world that makes absolutely no sense! Starring Maka Albarn and her friends, take a trip to Wonderland, meet the Snake queen, and a bunch of characters that love nonsense! Will Maka ever find her way out of Wonderland? And will she ever catch that stupid rabbit? T to be safe
1. Chapter 1

As the pages turned and flipped, they orchestrated the tale of a lost girl, with blonde hair and much courageousness . As the book fell, the very strange friends of the girl all grinned, smiling mischievously from its pages. As the cover of the book slapped quietly shut, the window opened without a sound. A woman slipped in a silent as death itself, a cruel grin across cartoony features. A young woman named Maka Albarn laid asleep in her bed, unaware of the fate that was to become as she was thrown into her very own fairy tale. As the last word of spell was whispered, a simple thread of latin admist the cool breeze, the woman slipped out, shutting the window without another word. The moon highlighted the title of the book through the now shut window pane, dust flitting in the soft beam.

_Alice in Wonderland_

Little did Maka, know, she was about to be thrown into a Wonderland of her own.

* * *

When Maka sat up, she was confuse, disorientated, and a bit dizzy. The smell of flowers was nauseating it was so strong. A thick breeze blew past, momentarily relieving Maka of the scent but making her skin hot and sweaty from the heat of the breeze. Suddenly Maka realized she wasn't in her room anymore. "I could've sworn I was asleep in my room a minute ago," she said aloud, only for the comfort of hearing her voice in a place that seemed empty of any other being. She was seated underneath a large oak tree, no longer in her pajamas but in her usual clothing instead, trench coat trapped beneath her legs. She was surrounded by rows and rows of flowers, in perfectly manicured lines that circled the tree, making it seem to be the very center of the strange garden, which seemed to stretch for miles. Warily, Maka stood, easily slipping into the familiar fighting stance, wondering where on earth she was. With a start, Maka fell out of her stance.

_'Where am I…And where is everyone else?' _she thought, eyes widening. She wished for the comfort of her weapon, Soul, the reasoning and logic of her friend Kid, heck, she wished for the loudness of Black*Star! Anything to fill the unbearable silence of this place. In the distance, she could hear of faint voice, rushed and hurried, almost seeming to be speaking to itself. As it grew closer, she could hear it was just a simple repetition of words to a slight hum.

_"I'm late, I'm late! I'm impossibly late for such a date!_

_Oh, the Snake queen will have my head!_

_By the end of the day, I'm sure to be dead!_

_Oh I haven't an idea how to deal with it,_

_Oh I'm absolutely positive the queen'll throw a fit!_

_Because I am so terribly late!"_

As the voice grew louder it started to sound like a song a hurried person would sing, and she was positive the singer of said song was very hurried indeed. When the singer came into view, short pink strands flopping along with the long pink ears that streamed uselessly behind them, Maka gasped. "Crona!" she said loudly. Crona didn't even look at her, only continuing on his way off into the distance. Hesitating, Maka decided to follow him, only for him to disappear soundly and completely behind the tree! With a frustrated sigh, Maka grumbled, circling the tree trying to find out how he had disappeared into thin air. _'If I hadn't hesitated i could've caught him in time!' _ she thought, inwardly kicking her self for her hesitation. Walking back to her original spot beneath the mighty oak, resting her back against the gnarly bark, which bit into her skin through her clothing. Closing her eyes, she sighed and lowered her head, letting a moment of weakness take over, a frown marring her young face and her brow wrinkling with concern. _'Will I ever see another person again, or am I stuck here until I die?' _she thought depressingly, disgusted at how easily her usual high spirits were depleted.

"You lazy, symmetrical girl,what are you doing lounging around like that? So indifferent, so indolent, so _inert! _Why, it's so lethargic it's absolutely disgusting to look at!"

Maka's eyes snapped open at the familiar voice, one that was scolding her once again. Raising her head, Maka was presented with the figure of her friend, Kid, standing there with a large pocket watch in hand and two tall, black rabbit ears twitching atop his head, pointed and raised towards the cloudless skies. "Now look what you've done, you've gone and made us late, Alice!"

Alice?

Snatching at the confused Maka's wrist, she was quickly dragged off into the rows of flowers, Kid leading her and singing to himself much like Crona did, to the same tune with different lyrics.

_"I'm late, I'm late!_

_I was supposed to be there by eight!_

_I should've never taken this job, _

_Now I must always hurry along!_

_But it's no use now because I'm so terribly late!"_

Baffled, Maka let Kid drag her along as he sang the same five lines over and over again, trying to sort out where they were, why they were there and why, of all things, did Kid have bunny ears and a twitchy tail? When Kid stopped suddenly Maka bumped into him, head knocking against his shoulder. She winced and clutched her forehead, a bit peeved that Kid hand't even apologized, until she noticed what they were standing in front of. A large hole in the middle of a row of red camellias, large enough for a human to fall into, a dark abyss and nothing else. They stood there, side by side, Kid staring impatiently at his pocket watch, ears twitching violently, and Maka, simply dumbfounded as to why they were standing there. Finally, Kid turned to her, an irritated expression pasted across his pale face. "Alice, what on earth are you waiting for! Go on! You're only making us later!"

The dam of questions that had been churning inside of Maka burst, all coming out at one as she flodded Kid with questions. "What's going on? Who's Alice? Where did Crona go? Where are we? Why do you have rabbit ears?" she blurted all at once, unable to contain herself any longer. Kid gave her a funny look. "Who's Kid? I am The-Kid-Who-Is-Not. Now really, Alice I'd suspect you'd know your own name!" He said incredulously, as if genuinely baffled by Maka's stupidity.

"My name's not Alice!"

"Silence! You're making us terribly late! The story was supposed to begin ten minutes ago!"Kid fretted, ears spasming in a frantic dance atop his asymmetrical head. A determined look settled across his face, eyes flashing with a certain drive. "If you won't enter Wonderland by yourself, I'll make you enter myself!" He grabbed Maka by the forearm, though not harshly, and dragged her towards the hole. Maka gasped suddenly, as everything started making sense. Alice? Wonderland? A _rabbit _hole? Maka started to squirm as they neared the rim of the hole, trying to break Kid's firm hold. "No, Kid! Don't tell me you're going to-!"

Her sentence was cut off by herself though with a scream, as she was suddenly heaved forward, watching Kid's form become hazier and smaller though she could clearly hear him call. "My name is The-Kid-Who-Is-Not!"

* * *

At the rim of the rabbit hole, Kid stared down at the fleeting form of Maka. He sighed. "Troublesome Alice, must you make everything difficult? My job is so severe, so stiff, it's absolutely strenuous!" Kid moaned, "It's downright unfair I'd say!" he flipped open his pocket watch, staring at the multiple ticking hands, the bright colors and pictures and slight tune that came out of it, somehow making sense of the nonsense. "Ah, we're twenty minutes behind in the story! The Nice queen is bound to be upset! Why she'll be dismayed, disquieted, she'll be downright distressed!" he groaned, easily and swiftly making his way back to the tree Maka had been seated under when she first arrived. Walking around the tree, he stopped at the exact spot Crona had disappeared on. After a second of searching, he found a knob, carved out of the tree and hidden well. Turning it, he was greeted with strange woods, filled with colorful creatures and trees, adding a whimsical theme to the forest. A path cut through it.

"I still wonder why she insisted Alice took the long way," Kid muttered, shutting the door firmly behind him.

* * *

**Hey guys, just wanted to post this, it's been sitting on my computer for some time. I know I'm supposed to working on my Hunger Games fanfic, _The Baker's Daughter_ and I have, I just wanted to get this off my chest. I already have the next chapter ready, and some reviews would be great. They really boost my confidence and inspire me to write more. I take suggestions as well, so free to drop a suggestion or question in the reviews, I'll try to answer any and all. If I get enough reviews, I'll post the next chapter sooner, I just don't want to feel like I'm wasting my time on a story nobody likes. The cover photo is copyrighted Elena Kalis, and if asked, I will take it down.**

**Sorry for wasting your time-**

**Scorn's Child**


	2. Chapter 2

Maka fell and fell, it seemed like time was bending itself to no form to make the fall longer and more tiring. As she fell, Maka observed the walls of the hole, which were decorated with nonsense. As she passed a sink that seemed to be defying gravity and falling upwards, Maka began to ponder her earlier conversation with Kid, er, The-Kid-Who-Is-Not. Firstly, what was up with his name? He was most definitely Kid, for who else looked exactly like the symmetry-obsessed boy?

And secondly, why was he calling her Alice? And who's the Snake queen? And the Nice queen? And _what in the name of all that is buttery and good was going on?_

These questions and many more danced through Maka's head as she continued her dizzying fall downwards towards the center of the earth for all she knew. Maka then came to the decision that Kid seemed to know the most about this, so when she reached the bottom of this hole, she was going to go searching for him.

She eventually drifted asleep, not at all concerned for going splat at the bottom.

_Thunk._

Maka groaned in pain and groggily sat up, rubbing the spot where her bottom had connected with the marble floor. She blinked in surprise when she found she was not wearing her usual outfit, but instead a light blue dress that came to rest just above her knees and a snowy white apron. White tights and black mary janes shined innocently up at her. Her hair had been let down out of their usual ponytails, and was soft and fluffy from being blow-dried on the way down. A big black bow sat atop her hair.

"When did I-Hey! Crona!" Maka yelped. Crona once again ignored her, and continued to run towards the small door at the very end of the hall. Maka had to look twice as she was sure she hadn't just seen Crona shrink to fit through a small door!

"What the heck is _going on_?" Maka wailed, tugging at her hair in distress. She made a mad dash down the hallway in the direction Crona had headed, only for her hip to connect with something hard and her to cry out in pain. Glaring at the glass table that had appeared in her path, she cradled her hip in delicate hands.

"Heh, jerk." she huffed.

Peering closer at the table, she noticed a coffee cup sitting squarely in the middle of the rounded glass table. '_Who would waste a perfectly good cup of Deathbuck's finest?'_ she wondered, picking up the cup, still warm to the touch. Shrugging and tipping the cup back, she let the warm coffee swirl in her mouth. She blinked in surprise at the sudden cold feeling that flooded her body. Ripping her lips away from the cup she dropped it, the dark liquid spreading across the floor. She stared at her hands in confusion as the cold feeling spread to her fingertips and made her numb. A prickling sensation filled her senses. Maka screamed as her hands begun to shrink as well as her whole body. She desperately grabbed at the folds of her dress which was becoming much too big for her rapidly.

The dress caved in on top of Maka's tiny body, and she had to battle her way out of the blue fabric. When she finally made her way out of the jungle of a dress, she finally realized that she was wearing pumpkin panties and a white camisole. 'It's better than nothing…' she told herself, disgusted at wearing the very same type panties her father adored so much.

Maka stared across the long expanse of the hall, the glass table hovering over her. In the near distance should could see a door, the exact height as she was. Maka sprinted to the door, relief on her face at finding an exit to this weird place. When she reached the door however, she had the misfortune to find out it was indeed, locked. She groaned, "Why does this always happened to me!" she wailed.

She turned in disgust away from the door, only to watch, shimmering in all it's glory, a key, fall from the domed ceiling, and land squarely on the glass table. Maka stared in disbelief. Of all the things…

She raced back to the table, staring up through the table's glass top at the key strangely shaped like Shinigami-sama's mask. Maka tried scaling the glass leg of the table, sliding back down every time. "I just can't get a grip on this thing!" she muttered through gritted teeth. She wished more than ever she had Kid's flying skateboard.

Sliding down the leg, she slumped against it in defeat, pulling her knees to her chest. _'What am I going to do…I have to get through_ _that door…' _she thought. A small clink rang through the long marble hallway. Maka looked up, surprised and alert. A ornamental box sat at her feet. Staring at it, she gingerly pushed the lid open with her toe. She leaned forward to see it's contents. A cigarette sat in the box, a small silver lighter laying in the satin with it.

Crinkling her small nose, Maka grasped the cigarette with slender fingers holding the cigarette at eye level. Very faintly, she could read the words _light me _written on the side. Suddenly, Maka was dying for a smoke. She grasped the sleek silver lighter with her other hand and flicked it open. Instantly a flame ignited, a light orange like her soul. She held it to the end of the cigarette and it instantly caught flame, prompting her to hold it to her lips. The second Maka inhaled she started hacking, black smoke coming out of her mouth and nose. _'I don't know how Professor Stein smokes these all the time.'_ she thought between gasps. So caught up with her coughing, she didn't realize she was growing until her head made a very painful noise of contact with the stone ceiling.

Maka stared down at herself in shock, her camisole had stretched itself and was now unbearably tight, the pumpkin panties now two sizes too small. Her feet seemed almost a mile away, pushed flat against the far wall.

"Oh, this is just perfect! Now I'm too big to fit through the door!" she complained, her voice booming in the big, and very empty room.

Maka stared at her feet in anguish, wondering just what to do. Out of the corner of her eye, Maka noted the gleaming key, still sitting innocently on the table. Picking it up between her fingers, she frowned. "I'm too big to fit through the door, what am I supposed to do with this thing now?" she asked the air. She slid her feet down the wall and felt them come in contact with something warm and wet. Craning her neck, Maka could just barely see the puddle of coffee she had spilled, barely a drop now. The effect the coffee had on her the first time sprung into her mind. "Maybe I can…?" Maka questioned, twisting painfully so her face was now near the puddle of coffee, her feet pressed against the ceiling. Sticking out her tongue, she dipped the tip of it in the smaller version of the puddle.

The cold feeling shuddered through her body again, making her fingers numb and her body prickle. Making sure to hold on to the key, Maka watched herself shrink to a size perfect to fit through the doorway. With a whoop of victory, Maka made a mad dash to the door, the key glinting between her fingers. Maka fumbled with the key for a bit, excited to be escaping this mad place, before managing to sneak it into the lock. With a resounding click, the door swung open with a slight hiss, a long dark hallway awaiting her. Thrilled, Maka sprinted, long lean legs flying, down the hallway, until she was fully engulfed in darkness. Maka could no longer see her feet in front of her, nor could she see the floors or the walls, but it seemed as if she already _knew _this path, as she continued running straight.

'_When I find Kid I am going to __**kill **__him for making me run so much.' _ Maka thought in between pants.

A pinprick of light appeared at the end of the long tunnel and Maka whooped in delight, startling herself with her own enthusiasm. She had never known herself to get this excited about something as simple as a bit of light! Then again, it could mean her escape from this mad world. As the light got brighter and hotter, Maka could feel a scorching wind brush her hair past her face and whip her camisole around her tiny frame, the cool marble disappeared from under her feet and she was met with hot sand, which her feet immediately sunk into. Maka hissed at the burning feeling as she was slowly sucked under by the sand, the hot grain-like substance sliding around her body like silk. As it rose higher and higher Maka began to panic as the hot sand covered about every crevice in her body.

_'What? I'm being sucked under! What is this, quicksand!__**?' **_Maka panicked.

"H-help! Help, somebody please!" Maka yelled over the loud winds as the swept past, carrying more sand that got in her mouth and eyes every time she opened them. The sand was now steadily rising, or was she slowly sinking? It reached her fingertips, then her ribs, and by then Maka was furiously digging at the stinging sands. Finally it reached her collarbone and Maka stopped fighting. She instead stared up at the bright blue sky, the suns mocking face jeering down at her. She giggled a little, her face twisting into a bitter smile.

_'All that fuss I made earlier, just to drown in sand..' _ she thought, just as her head disappeared under the surface. It was so hot. It was like standing on the surface of the sun, waves of sand batting her around and slicing her skin making it irritable and red. There was no air under there either and it was torture to try and breath and get a nose or mouthful of sand.

_'This settles it, drowning is the worst way to die.' _Maka sighed, releasing the last bit of breath she held dearly, and slipping unconscious under the hot, unrelenting sands.

* * *

_"You're not supporting her head right.."_

_"Oh you shut up! You think your'e such an expert, come over here and do it yourself!"_

_"I can't, I'm steering the boat."_

_"That's always your excuse!"_

Maka frowned a bit at the familiar voices, her eyebrow crinkling a little. Where had she heard them before? _"Guys, I think she's_ _waking up!"_ another voice besides the two arguing chimed in.

_"Well make her wake up faster, there's a fee for rides you know."_

_"Oh my word, do you only think about money?"_

Cold water splashed her. Maka screeched and shot up, shivering as goosebumps appeared along her arms and legs. She glared up at the offender, only to be staring directly into the red visor she knew as Harvar. "H-harvar! What the hell was that for!" Maka demanded.

"My name is not 'Harvar' I am Not-Harvar. I simply dumped a bucket on you because Is-Not-Kim said so." he replied robotically, face void of emotion as usual.

"Ha!" the person Maka guessed was Is-Not-Kim laughed in Ox's face. That was when she realized they were on a boat, in the middle of the sand, in the middle of nowhere. Her eyes widened.

She was on a rickety boat with Ox, Kim, Harvar and Jacqueline.

In the middle of the sand that had tried to kill her only moments ago.

In the middle of _nowhere._

Maka freaked out. "Kim! Where the heck are we! What's going on?" she questioned her friend. Kim blinked at her in confusion before her face set into her usual light scowl. "I don't know anyone named 'Kim' but I am Is-Not-Kim if you must know. Secondly, we are on the Sea of Sinking Sands, and are in are way to dry land." she informed Maka. She shuddered, and Maka only then realized that her usual schoolgirl uniform ad beed traded in for a long bright pink dress made of feathers and pink elbow-length satin gloves. Atop her head was a hat so bright and frilly with feathers, she could hardly tell if from her bubblegum-pink hair.

"I'm so glad we'll be geting off this boat soon, this sand is absolutely _horrible _on my feathers." she grumped.

"Do not worry, Is-Not, we'll reach land in only a moment!" Jacqueline piped up cheerfully from the back of the boat, where she seemed to be rowing all by herself. Her usual uniform had also been traded in, for colorful feathery dress that reached mid thigh and striped stockings that were so intensely hued it pained Maka to look directly at them. A feathered newsboy cap sat atop of her glossy brown hair. She blinked at Maka's pained stare. "Oh dear, I didn't introduce myself; I am Could-Not-Be-Jacqueline. My friends call me Not-Jackie!" she chirped.

"And I am the captain of this ship, Who-Is-Not-Ox!" Ox giggled from the head of the boat. The only difference in his usual attire seemed to be the big billowy captain's coat he wore, that was so many different shades of blue, it looked like the whole spectrum resided in his coat. A ridiculous hat much to big for his head slid forward, making him choke on the big white feather that flapped around in the sandy winds. Harvar pounded on his back. He didn't seem to change as much as Kim and Jackie had, though his usual crisp white pants were made of feathers that started brown but gradually faded to white, brown-speckled ones. The sleeves of his jacket did the same, and his shirt had been replaced with one of an eagle on it.

All in all, from far away it looked as if Maka were standing in a boat with large colorful birds.

Ox gasped in delight and giddily hopped and down on the front of the tiny boat, as if he had not been choking only a moment ago. And if it were not for his tight hold on the mast, Maka was positive he'd go head first into the soul-sucking sands. "Oh there it is, land!" he clapped. Maka peered off in the direction Ox was busy pointing in but could not see anything there than miles and miles of more sand. Kim sighed in relief and Jacqueline made a small sound of joy. Harvar grunted his approval.

Maka frowned at her friends. Were they mad? There was no land for miles around- but then again they _were _rowing through sands that would swallow you whole if you were to fall into them- But that was beside the point! Maka was about to comment on the lack of land everyone was excited about when the boat suddenly jolted forward harshly, and Maka surely would have fallen overboard if it weren't for Harvar, who grabbed onto the back of her camisole at the last moment.

"Thanks," Maka breathed rubbing her stomach which had connected painfully with the side of the boat as she fell, knocking all the wind out of her. Harvar just nodded.

"Land ho!" Ox declared, waltzing with Kim around the deck, who seemed to be enjoying watching her long pink dress fly away from her while twirling. "Where's land? I don't see any land," Maka whispered to Jacqueline. She giggled. "That's because we're on a beach," she whispered back.

_'Because that makes perfect sense.' _ Maka sweat dropped. Suddenly Maka caught a flash of pink flopping ears out of the corner of eyes and she gasped. "Crona!" she yelled after the boy, who seemed to ignoring her once again. The tall boy made his way into the shrubbery located along the edge of the so-called beach, which led off into a thick and colorful forest. Maka's eye twitched at his blatant ignorance of her, it was really starting to irk her. Leaping over the railing and ignoring Kim's shouts about a fee, Maka once again headed off on her adventure to track down Kid, and catch Crona.

* * *

**A/N: Thus the chase continues! I'd like to clear something up, my dearly loved and few in numbers readers: Yes, both Kid and Crona are playing the role of the White Rabbit. Why? Because they both fit the role in my mind, and it'll make more sense later in the story. I hope you guys enjoyed the latest update. If you have suggestions or questions, feel free to message me! I love hearing from you guys, whether it's to answer questions, or reply to your suggestions! Review please guys, it reminds me to write! Plus, it's a real boost to my self-esteem!**


	3. Chapter 3

Maka waltzed through the rich growth of the forest, throughly turned around and confused to bits, she wouldn't even be able to find her way back to the beach and Ox's boat if she wanted to! A horsefly buzzed past, which was literally a horse with wings, just reminding her of the strange thing she had witnessed so far. She had wandered into a particularly rude patch of flowers, who sung her a song against her own will and then proceeded to call her a weed. She was very insulted by that, to be called a dandelion fluff, though it was not the worst name to be called, she supposed. After that she had been turned around by a slow turtle, that wished to do nothing but talk about itself, and now, she was finally in the middle of a very small field, a clearing perhaps, wading in the shin-high grass towards the log that rested in the middle. Sighing, Maka rested wearily on the old dead piece of wood, wondering what on earth to do next.

_'I guess I could try to find my way back to the beach. But would the boat even be there? Would Kim and Ox still be on ship?' _Maka thought. Sighing once again, which she seemed to be doing an awful lot these days, she settled back on the log, letting the giggly sun warm her skin, shutting her eyes. What would she do indeed? She was sitting on a log in a clearing in her undergarments, a problem she would have to soon fix, she realized. She was thoroughly startled and snapped from her meandering thoughts when a cheerful and familiar voice surprised her. "Hey Alice? What on earth are you doing here?"

Maka's eyes opened wide as she stared up at Kirikou, who was smiling as bright as ever, frames sliding down his nose, and Pot of Thunder and Pot of Lightning on either side of him, small faces beaming up at her. They were all wearing matching outfits, bright yellow tailcoats and red pants, the two pots wearing funny little hats. "A-ah, Kirikou? Thunder? Lightning?" Maka asked, leaning forward, eyes alight in curious wonder and relief. Finally! Someone who could help her! "I'm sorry?Who's Kirikou? I am Shouldn't-Be-Kirikou, this is Definitely-Not-Lightining and Definitely-Not-Thunder! We're the Pot brothers!" They exclaimed enthusiastically. Maka wondered what on earth was up with everyone's names here. So bizarre, and they definitely made Maka suspicious. She ignored this fact for a moment, and instead leaned forward and grasped Kirikou by the shoulders, shaking him with her relief. "Thank Shinigami it's you! I've been lost and wandering these woods for hours!" she exclaimed, "Could you show-"

"Would you like to hear a story?" Kirikou asked, cutting off Maka's plea for help. Puzzled, Maka released his shoulders, " A stor-?" only to be cut off again,as Kirikou launched off into a wild and confusing story.

_"O once a morning there were three children,_

_Decidedly-Not-Eibon, Positively-Not-Arachne, And Shall-Not-Be-Death!_

_Three very powerful children, not enemies, not yet!_

_Decidedly-Not-Eibon approached Shall-Not-Be-Death one day,_

_Opened his small mouth,only for him to say,_

_**"I'll be a builder, a designer, an inventor, at that!**_

_**I'll be famous world-wide, why I bet my hat!"**_

_He announced with a crafty grin, issuing his bet, and expecting to win!_

_Shall-Not-Be-Death was not the type to back down from a challenge,_

_Dug through his pockets, and pulled out any change he could salvage._

_**"I'll take you to that, we'll see if you make fame!"**_

_He scoffed loudly, expecting a win, accomplishment, a gain!_

_The two friends, now rivals, went their separate ways,_

_Unaware and unfeeling a certain spider's gaze!_

_Now Ms. Positively-Not was not a fair child to say,_

_She was sly and sneaky, and thought the world was a toy for her play!_

_And with a smirk she snuck into the shadows in a way only evil can,_

_And started evolving her evil, downright devious plan!_

_And years later, Mr. Decidedly-Not, _

_approached Shall-Not-Be-Death, unaware of a certain spider's plot!_

_Through the many years, through multiple beings with eight eyes,_

_Ms. Positively-Not-Arachne had fed Shall-Not-Be rumors and lies!_

_And with a glare, Shall-Not-Be challenged Decidedly-Not's greet,_

_Only seeing the poor confused man tinged with hate and deceit._

_And the friends fell apart, seething in confusion and hate, _

_Unaware that their story's end was not decided through fate!_

_And machines stopped working, Death no longer struck,_

_The world was covered in spiders till the rotation stuck!_

_And everyone was mad, downright insane!_

_And you could say Wonderland has never been the same!"_

Kirikou finished the story with flourish, almost comically exaggerating his sweeping bow. The pots which had been doing strange little dances throughout the story, finally stopped and grinned up at the hopelessly confused girl, as if awaiting applause, hats in their hands. Maka's head was cocked to the side, a position she had assumed while trying to follow the long and winding story, trying to make sense of the tale, when there was obviously none to be found. It was only a second later that it sunk in that the three would be absolutely useless in helping her find her way out of this maddeningly twisting and spun forest. With a whispered goodbye to her friends, who had already gone off on another rant, Maka silently slid of the rough dead bark of the log and slipped into the thick colorful hues of the surrounding forest. She wandered for a couple of hours more, occasionally stopping to lean against the gaudy coloring of the trees.

* * *

When Maka saw a small cottage up ahead, she was surprised but relieved, maybe there was someone there who would make a speckling of sense? However when Maka opened the door to the small and seemingly peaceful cottage, she had to duck to avoid a flying sauce pan.

Yes, inside the small house it was chaos, a fire roared loudly in the mantlepiece, cats roamed everywhere, food splattered the walls, and dishes were being tossed about in an unruly manner by a blonde woman who had her back turned so Maka could not see her face. And in the midst of it was Blair, sitting atop a chair in the middle of the room, rocking a bundle of blankets and crooning softly to it, avoiding the thrown food and eating ware as if it was the usual and not strange at all. Blair's eyes alit when she laid sights on Maka. "Alice! It's about time you've come to visit me!" she laughed loudly, rivaling the fire and shattering dishes and cats in noise. Maka, staring, ducked again, avoiding a plate that came hurtling towards her head. A cat clawed at her bare foot. Noticing her stare, Blair looked towards the ceiling. "Oh yes, you didn't meet me last time you visited Wonderland did you? I am Certainly-Isn't-Blair, but my formal title is the Duchess-Isn't!" she reintroduced, as if Maka and her had never met before. "And this is my cook, Indeed-Not-Marie!"

At this minute exactly, Marie chose to spin around and throw a carving knife at Maka. "Blast! Not enough pepper in the stew! Supper is ruined!" she wailed, not noticing Maka's yelp or just barely dodging the sharp knife, which thumped into the door, sticking into the wood. Unsteadily making her way towards Blair, who seemed to be at the safest point in the room at the moment, she stood at the base of Blair's chair, which was risen from the ground. "Um, Blair, I mean, Certainly-Isn't-Blair?" Maka asked, correcting herself at Blair's insulted look, " Do you know how to get back to the beach?The one that meets the Sea of Sinking Sands?" Maka asked, feeling foolish asking such a thing. She wasn't surprised, however, when Blair ignored her question, as it seemed everyone seemed to be doing such of the late. Instead, Blair shoved the baby she had been rocking into Maka's face. "Isn't he just purrfect?" she squealed, bringing the infant closer to Maka.

Maka blinked at the toddler, who's blue eyes and curly blonde hair looked familiar. When she saw the earbuds though, Maka's eyes widened. "J-justin?" she asked the baby. It cooed at her in reply. Blair cuddled the small boy into her chest again, gushing over him. "Is he yours?" Blair asked Maka, holding the baby out to her. Justin gurgled and reached for a lock of her hair, which was still down from earlier. "You mean he's not yours?" Maka asked tiredly.

Back when things had made sense, Blair had always brought home what she thought were stray cats, and Maka and Soul often had to deal with angry and upset cat owners. The baby was shoved into her hands however, as the door flew open, rattling on its rusty hinges. A frog hopped in, big eyes bulging as a butcher knife almsot cleaved its head off. "U-um, message for the Duchess-Isn't!" it croaked, voice high and quavering with the shock off a knife just barely brushing against its slimy skin. Blair frowned and accepted the letter from the whimpering frog as a glass shattered behind its head, oblivious to its fear.

Maka peeked over Blair's shoulder, skillfully dodging the shattering dishes, and keeping the twirls of her hair from Justin's grabby hands. The envelope was pure black, the wax seal shaped like a coiled snake. "The Snake queen," Blair hissed under her breath, ears laying back in anger. The surrounding cats seemed to sense her anger and hissed at Maka, as if she was the cause of her cat fit. Blair shot an annoyed looked at the spitting cats. "Calm down, it's not her. Sorry Alice, they can be a bit..Catty." she giggled, relishing in her pun. The cats that had circled Maka, gradually slipped away, shooting her wary glances that belonged to anything other than cats.

Blair opened the letter, now in higher spirits. Scanning it quickly, she frowned. "Oh dear…" she sighed, brow crinkling in concern, she turned to Maka quickly and said, "Alice, darling, I'll have to leave now, the Queen is calling me to court. And she's absolutely no fun!" Brushing past her, she grabbed her coat off a hook and was out the door in a wave of tabby cats before Maka could even ask what to do with baby Justin. Looking down at the baby, Maka sighed, as things were most definitely not going her way today. Baby Justin started fussing, and fell from Maka's arms, before crawling out the door. Maka wanted to chase after him, but didn't trust herself to _not _ get turned about in the maze-like forest. When a spoon chipped at the remaining food-stained paint on the door, Maka was reminded there was another person she could possibly ask for directions. "Um, Ms. Indeed-Not-Marie?" Maka asked hesitantly, wondering if the eye-patched woman would even answer to such a name. "Yes?" Marie asked, momentarily stopping her hail of silverware.

"Do you know how to get out of this place?" she asked, assuming Marie would know what she meant. The other blonde woman was always good with understanding her. However, it seemed she _was _Indeed-Not-Marie because she tilted her head in confusion. "I'm sorry Miss Alice, get out of where?"

Maka wanted to stomp her feet and scream like a small child she was so irritated. She was so very annoyed, absolutely frustrated! Nothing made sense, in fact, it wasn't farfetched to even call it nonsense! Yes, that word described this world very well, Maka thought, storming out of the cottage, giving a noncommittal grunt to Marie's cries of, "Say hello to Mr. Absolutely for me!" and off into the forest, sick of people now and happy to get lost and turned around _away _from insane people who resembled her friends.

* * *

Maka was relieved when she saw the signs from a distance, though abashed when she came closer and realized all the signs were decorated and dressed in irrational directions, some simply pointing at the sky and somehow suggesting she go up. The path she had been following forked, a large tree resting in the middle of it, both paths leading back into suspicious looking shadows. Try as she might, no matter how hard Maka peered in either direction she couldn't break through the unrelenting darkness. And she certainly wasn't going to charge headfirst into such worrying gloom!

_"Beware the Kishin, my son!_

_The foolish face that grins, eyes wide with malice,_

_Beware the Queen that can hiss, no best to shun!_

_Until happened upon Wonderland is Alice!"_

A jeering tone sang slightly off-key, the smirk in their voice echoing through the silent woods. Maka froze at the voice so known to her ears, searching widely for its source, yet not braving the blackness down the two paths. "P-professor?" she asked the abyss, and in such a maddening place as she was in now, she would hardly be surprised if such a madman appeared. That didn't stop her from jumping though when the voice appeared over her shoulder, jaunting and teasing with a slight musical tone.

_"One two! One two! Went Alice's scythe!_

_She left him dead, and rode off with her knight!_

_And the madness left, the Kishin dead!_

_And the Snake queen was offed! Just like her head!"_

The voice she was so intimate with in her everyday life, chilling her to the bone as it laughed along with the childish tune yet such a gory song was sung in place of one appropriate for children. She squealed in surprise when a large grin appeared in front of her nose, stumbling back as she watched in fascination as a gray cat appeared before her very eyes. If that was not enough, surely the fact that the cat was covered in stitches that wormed and wriggled its way across its fur, and the hole gaping through the side of its head was the selling factor. It peered over flashing circular glasses that somehow balance on the bridge of it's nose. "'Ello, Alice," it greeted, as they were simply old friends happening upon each other once again. And in a way, Maka supposed, it was true.

"Professer Stein? I-is that really you?" she questioned, looking gobsmacked at the strange beast that seemed to be lounging mid-air. The cat glanced above her head, as if in thought before answering, "Well, I've been nobody else but me for as long as I can remember, though I've forgotten a bit, and I hope I've never been someone else beside myself, because I'd hate to be anyone else other than me. So yes, you can say I am me, I am Absolutely-Stein, to be straight, and I've been nobody else since I was I can't recall how long I have been myself and not me."

Maka stared at the cat in wonder, simply trying to make sense of his long and confusing reply. Finally she decided that yes, that was most definitely her professor. "Have I discombobulated you? Terribly sorry Alice, you don't seem as bright as you used to be." he apologized, in a rather offensive and offhanded manner. Flushing angrily, Maka grit out, "Can you tell me the way out of this bloody forest?" keeping her tongue and manners in check. Once again, Stein peered over her shoulder, before suddenly snapping back to reality, same cheeky grin as ever.

"Well I simply couldn't but perhaps I could send you off towards a couple of mad fellows, who would be _delighted _to give you proper directions, hmm?" Stein purred, stitches dancing across his nose. Maka sweat dropped. "Oh no, I can't deal with anymore of this insanity, is there anyone normal around here?" she questioned, glad at least _someone _had answered her question, even if they weren't entirely helpful. Stein simply gave her his signature maniacal laugh, stitches seeming to squirm even more jubilantly. Olive green eyes reflected the same insane amusement she so often associated with the mad doctor. "Oh no, I'm afraid everyone's mad here." he said, not sounding a bit sorry. "Though it wasn't always this way," he said thoughtfully, gazing over Maka's shoulder once again, as if remembering something. Maka frowned at him, the last stanza of Kirikou's poem replaying through her head.

_'And machines stopped working, Death no longer struck,_

_The world was covered with spiders till the rotation stuck!_

_And everyone was mad, downright insane!_

_And you could say Wonderland has never been the same!'_

Maka glanced at the cat, who was staring off into the distance, seemingly lost in memory, and that was when she realized the mad doctor was no longer sporting his screw, now a gaping hole through the side of his head, just beneath his pointed feline ears. "U-um, Professor Stein? Where's your screw?" she asked, tapping the side of her head as if indicating where the screw would be if it was any other day. She would've questioned the detail of why he was a cat, but it didn't seem as important at the moment. Stein glanced at her before scowling slightly, small nose scrunching up as if he had caught scent of something distasteful. "That wretched Snake queen stole it from me and hid it somewhere in the forest, I've been looking for it ever since. It was my only way of fighting the Kishin's madness, though it wasn't very useful, but still helped to collect my thoughts!" he said, seemingly arguing with himself. Feeling sorry for the old cat, but still wanting answers, Maka sighed and said, "If you could just point me to those guys you mentioned…" she said, sentence dwindling to nothing. Stein looked up from his one-sided argument with himself, grinning at the young girl.

"Of course, Alice, why just had that way, the left path there." he said, flicking his tail lazily down the path that went to the left of the tree. The sutures on his tail flew off and danced down the path, before dissolving gradually and disappearing midair. Maka blinked before dismissing it; far stranger things had happened today. With a relieved smile Maka thanked him before starting down the path. Suddenly Crona flashed through her mind and she stopped, spinning around. Stein raised an eyebrow. "Oh! Have you seen Crona?" she asked the cat, who had disappeared briefly and was now lounging on the lowest branch of the tree. Stein flicked his tail and batted at the floating fastens, amusing himself.

"Oh, I don't know a Crona, but I do know of a rabbit by the name of Doesn't-Seem-To-Be-Crona. Is that who you're talking about?" he said disinterestedly, no longer amused with the poor girl yet still wearing a smile. Maka shrugged her shoulders, "I guess so," she said.

"Well the foolish rabbit went that way." Stein said, smirking as he gestured down the opposite path, stitches flying. "He did?" Maka said enthusiastically, pumped to finally have the chance to catch Crona.

"He did what?"

Tilting her head in confusion Maka said,"He went that way!"

With a grin and a tilt of the head to match her own, the sarcastic cat said, "Who did?"

"The rabbit, Crona, he went that way…?" she said uncertainly. Giggling gleefully, Stein asked, "What rabbit?"

With a scowl, Maka chose not to answer the tricky feline, and instead spun on her heels, marching down the left path. As she disappeared down the path, Stein finally let the smile he had been wearing the whole time, big or small, disappear. His eyes widened as his breathing labored, the small furry body on the branch twitching and spasming till it almost fell off. When Maka was finally far away enough for her to not hear, only then did, did Stein let out a loud, screaming laugh, one of pure insanity. One of a Kishin's madness. One of absolute pain.

For Wonderland was not as wonderful as it used to be.

* * *

**A/N: And yet another installment of MakaChan in Wonderland! I hope you guys like it, and your reviews motivate me to write more! If anyone has any questions or suggestions for the story, feel free to message me, and I'll guarantee that you'll get a reply.**

**See you next time,**

**Scorn's Child**


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